In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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