I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
