gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
