I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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