"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
