used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
