3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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