I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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