he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
