You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My vagina just clenched in fear
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
