apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
