I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
