i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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