That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
