Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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