I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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