White coat. Heels.
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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