I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
