I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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