the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
