I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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