forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
