We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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