It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
