..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
