Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So vagazzling was a success
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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