Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i believe in u and ur pee
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm always down for nudity.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
