and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
