i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
