but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
