Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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