Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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