Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
