I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
