Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
