No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
