Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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