So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I forget how to act sober
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