Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
