While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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