38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
