I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
