Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
