You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
