at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
