Just fell off a train. Bad.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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