life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
