I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
