Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
