Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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